


Meet the family (Again)

by Dooiney_Oie



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Secret relationships getting found out, Some light references to Steamy Activities but mostly just antics, Swears as usual what do you expect it's taz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-10 21:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12308670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dooiney_Oie/pseuds/Dooiney_Oie
Summary: There are worse reactions to finding a half-dressed reaper in your dorm room.





	Meet the family (Again)

 

Kravitz wakes up to the smell of lavender and soft sheets pressed against his face. Those three things are enough to send his groggy mind into a tailspin - lavender? A bed? _Waking u-_ Oh. Right.

He sits up and scans his surroundings. Despite this being his room, Taako is nowhere to be seen amongst the piles of clothes, books and spell components strewn across it. Kravitz stands up, carefully amid the mess, looks around for his clothes. He puts on the lower half of his suit, finds his tie, shoes, jacket - but his shirt is nowhere to be found.

"Where...?"

He searches the room a little further before giving up.

"Taako?" He picks his way over to the door, opens it and sticks his head through. "Taako, do you have my-"

Oh.

Shit.

Two pairs of wide eyes stare back at him from the common area outside of Taako's room.

"Ah." He slips into his work accent before realising it. "Um. Hello. Again."

He finds himself dragged from the doorway and slammed against the wall by a very large pair of hands. Yes, that makes sense, given the circumstances.

"Um, look, I'm not-"

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here? Why were you in Taako's room?" Magnus glances down, confusion mixing with aggression. "Where the hell is your shirt?"

"I'd like to find that out myself, so if you could just-"

"Oh my - blessed fucking Pan! Magnus!" Merle's voice sounds from outside Kravitz's line of sight, unable to look down with Magnus' arm pressed against his throat. "It's him! He's the secret boyfriend!"

Magnus' grip loosens for just a moment. "Wait- _WHAT?!_ "

"Um, I guess that means he hasn't mentioned our, uh, relationship, to you." Kravitz grimaces a little, avoiding eye contact. "Which I suppose makes sense, given the fact that I tried to kill you multiple times, and the whole thing where I blew your arm off." He gestures weakly towards where Merle's voice came from. "Which I uh, really should apologise for, kind of a dick move on my part."

"Little late for that, buddy."

"Yes, well, uh, if you'd just put me down I'll just, find my shirt and be on my- _oof_." He gasps as Magnus slams him against the wall again.

"Holy fucking shit - _Magnus_! Down, boy!"

Taako. Thank goodness. He's standing in the doorway, Kravitz's shirt in his arms. There's a large wine-coloured stain across it. Kravitz would have slapped himself in the face if he had his arms free. Right. That happened. He remembers a tipped glass, muffled curses, his insistence that _it's fine, really_ , as warm hands fumbled with his shirt buttons and then there were soft lips against his collarbone and - well, the mess ended up being forgotten about.

Taako makes his way over as Magnus begrudgingly removes his iron hold on the reaper. "I just went to see if I couldn't clean this up, and I come back to-" He sighs loudly. "Why didn't you just stay in the room and wait for me?"

Kravitz sputters, quickly dropping the accent before he's made fun of. He hears a muttered "I knew it!" from Merle below him.

"Sorry - I, I woke up, and I - I don't sleep very often so when I do I get really disoriented, and I couldn't find my shirt so I came out here to look for it..."

"Idiot," Taako says without conviction, holding the stained shirt towards him. "Anyway, sorry I couldn't get the stain out. Your clothes are like, magic-proof or some shit."

Kravitz leans over to grab the shirt. "No, it's fine, look, I just have to-" He passes his hand over the garment and it dissolves into smoke. A second later, he's fully dressed, a new dark shirt and suit jacket appearing over his shoulders. "See? Good as new. They're not real, so I can just... what?"

Taako is pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes screwed shut. "If you could just... _make new ones_ , why in the _fuck_ are you out here?"

"Oh." Kravitz feels his face heating up. "Well. I guess I uh, didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

Next to him, Magnus sighs. "Okay, that's - that's actually kinda cute. Are you saying he's cool, then?"

"Yeah, so if you could like, not threaten him next time, that'd be great, big man."

"What, so we're just all _friends_ now?!" Merle has his hands on his hips, squinting up at Taako. He points a wooden finger at Kravitz. "He's the reason I'm missing an arm!"

Kravitz tries very hard to blend into the wall. Taako steps between them.

"I mean, if I'm remembering this correctly, you were the one stupid enough to try 'n' grab a super dangerous piece of _murder crystal-_ "

"He told me to! I thought he was Pan!"

"Again, kinda stupid - and anyway, now you have a rad magic wood arm! I think we can say no hard feelings, and I bet Krav here feels real bad about it - right babe?"

Kravitz wilts a little under Merle's glare. "Yeah that's, that one's really on me - sorry." He fidgets with a button on his newly-formed shirt. "I didn't realise you three weren't, you know, criminals. So uh, my apologies. Again."

Merle's expression does a complete hundred-and-eighty-degree turn as he smiles and pats Kravitz's leg reassuringly. "All's forgiven, friend."

Kravitz blinks, his mouth falling open a little. "Wh- just like that?"

"Well, we all make mistakes." The dwarf shrugs.

"Hang on one _minute_." Magnus folds his arms and frowns at Merle. "When _he_ says he's sorry, it's ' _we all make mistakes_ ' and ' _all's forgiven_ ' but _I_ have to hear about how I _viciously_ took your arm off every other second? I was the one trying to save you!"

"Well what am I supposed to do when he's standing there looking like a kicked puppy? He said he was sorry!"

"So did I! Several times! You never forgave _me!_ No ' _Hey, thanks for saving me from turning into a crystal statue, Magnus! Really appreciate not being dead!_'"

Kravitz watches them bicker in stunned silence for a few moments until he feels a hand on his arm.

"Hey, uh, sorry about those two. They mean well, y'know?"

He rubs his at his throat, wondering not for the first time how these three goofballs had managed to best a near-immortal bounty hunter centuries older than them and a monster made of thousands of souls to boot. "I'm sure. In any case, I really should be going." He reaches over to squeeze Taako's hand and kiss him lightly on the cheek. "Thanks for the evening."

"Hmm, my pleasure, handsome. Call me?"

"Of course." He summons his scythe and turns to tear open a rift to leave through. As the wood solidifies in his hands, he hears a shout and a clatter from behind him.

"Shit! Taako, I thought you said he was cool!"

Oh. Kravitz turns back and tries to hold the scythe in as non-threatening a way as possible, which is no easy feat with a three-foot-long razor-sharp blade. "No, shit, I'm not - I just need this to leave." He flicks the steel through the air to tear a rift behind him. "See?"

Magnus lowers his fists. "Oh. Okay." He waves brightly. "Bye then!"

They're so strange, these three. If he'd thought Taako was quick to change his attitude after their first meeting, the other two took the metaphorical cake. It's enough to bring on some kind of emotional whiplash, he thinks, rubbing his temples.

"Yes, uh, goodbye." He turns to Taako one last time. The elf has a mischievous glint in his eye that he chooses to ignore as he pecks his cheek again. "I'll see you later."

"Mm-hm." Taako grins, gently smoothing Kravitz's tie down against his shirt. Suddenly, he yanks it downwards and hooks his other hand around the reaper's neck, pulling Kravitz's face in towards his own and kissing him deeply for a few seconds, Magnus and Merle heckling them loudly, before shoving him back towards the rift, cackling at the look of mortified surprise he receives in return.

"Bye, babe!" He shouts as Kravitz practically falls through the portal, face flushed with heat as he enters the chill of the astral plane. The elf is still laughing as the rift snaps shut, and after the wave of embarrassment leaves him, Kravitz allows himself a small chuckle, too.

That's certainly one way to introduce your boyfriend to your family.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Another old draft while the next HitD chapter kicks my ass
> 
> I'm v aware of the whole 'surprise kiss!' thing being a lil nonconsensual but like, Kravitz does not care, he's always up for it and Taako knows it lmao


End file.
